Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Life lessons from Mr. President

The kids watched President Obama's speech today in class with their teacher. This, after the inane hubbub about whether the President was overstepping his bounds by orating to our children about the importance of responsibility in education. (PSHAW! Shame on him!) And yes, I was floored when they sent out permission slips to the parents to opt-out of having your kids not watch the speech and instead, do some alternate activity during the 20 minute duration of the speech.

When I asked Hannah and Luke about President Obama's speech this morning (what they thought of it and what they learned) they both proudly exclaimed, "We learned about how important it us for us to take responsibility for our education. Not exaggerating the quote. From my 4 3/4 year olds.

OK, how can you NOT LOVE that 4 year olds were able to take away that message from Obama today? There's certainly nothing partisan about some classic messages:

Stay in school.
Work hard.
Dream big.
Achieve your goals.
And, OWN it. Your education, your future.

Love it. Love it.

I will play this speech for them every year before they start school in the fall. I swear.

Thursday, August 20, 2009

my, how fast they grow

today was the first day of school for hannah and luke.  yep - the school district elementary school.  the whole dang reason we moved here to this wonderful neighborhood.  they enrolled in a 2-year kindergarten program offered by the district called PEPP.  The PEPP program is for younger kindergartners...and our kids couldn't be any younger for kinder - they were born on the california state cut-off date -- december 2nd.

and of course, like many moms, i cried.   not in front of them. but as i walked back to the car.  on my ride into work.  and throughout the day.  i teared in spurts.  and this isn't even kinder-kinder yet.  just the first year of kinder.

maybe i'm nostalgic because we know we're not planning on having any more children and that these events and memories won't be relived again with another child.  we're doing it all at once with both of our twins as they move through the milestones - kind of like a big bucket of water poured on you vs. a steady shower.

and this is just one of many more milestones to come.

my babies are growing up.


Friday, June 26, 2009

A working mom's best friend after a loooong week

BS & T


Bombay Sapphire Gin and Tonic.

Thank God for my darling bartender.

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

it's only the beginning

The other day I was lecturing Luke on some random thing that I can't even remember what it was. 

Well, I was shocked and surprised when he retaliated and expressed his anger saying something that I was totally not expecting to hear.

He called me an idiot.

Yes, an idiot.

Of course, my jaw dropped.

He obviously heard that from someone in preschool, and NOT in our house.  Because the house rule is that (especially for Dave and I) we NEVER say such words to each other (or in general) in the house...words like "stupid"..."dumb"..."idiot"...

But of course, here's Luke dropping "idiot" like it's the word "mommy" or "water".

Oy.

Needless to say, I lectured him (nicely, of course) about the word idiot and told him that it hurt my feelings to hear him say that to me.

And he knew that it was not a nice thing to say as soon as the word left his mouth and he saw my reaction. 

I later told Dave what he called me and he laughed. 

Indeed, we can't shelter them from these things.  And I know it will only get worse as they start school and get surrounded by kids whose parents utter these words in front of them and have habits that would make me faint. 

But, I need to just trust in our parenting.  And trust that I - we -  are raising them in a way that they will have good judgment to do and say what's right and good when confronted by not-so-pleasant things, words, whatevah...

Ayayayayayayay.


Tuesday, June 16, 2009

SoCal moment #154

I ran into a friend (mostly casual acquaintance) who I hadn't seen in a while the other day.

And as I reached out to give her a greeting and a hug, she pulled away (not in a hostile way) pointed to her boobs and said, "Careful.  I just had these done."

I couldn't figure out if she really was tender and sensitive in her boob area, or if she was merely calling attention to her 2 new BFFs.

Probably a little of both.

(I don't know why, but I am just so amused by that story.  I really shouldn't be because this is so damn typical behavior of the - ahem, ahem -  age/income demographic where I live  - the aspiring MILF, almost-bordering-on-cougar, Wisteria Lane-types who live in my bubble of Southern California suburbia...but then again, I only live in THE ultimate cosmetic and collagen-n-botox-injection-happy capital of the world...yes, counting LA of course.)

Sunday, June 14, 2009

Facebook usernames...wha?

I don't get all of the kerfuffle about the Facebook username feature launch the other day.

Don't get me wrong, I got one approximately an hour after they made the username functionality available on 6/12/09...just to avoid someone "name squatting" me.

But, I still don't get it.  

Is this so I can send a URL to friends and family that's easy to remember?   But, can't they just find me on FB by searching through their friends?

And if friends and family are not already on FB connected to me, I don't want anyone else, anywhere else on the web finding me and seeing what I have to say.  Uh...huh?

Thankfully my FB profile is still all behind registration, and still retains my desired privacy settings.  (I know, I am a FB dork)

Point, please?

Friday, June 12, 2009

Ooooohhhhhhmmmmmmmmm

Back in January when I was setting my goals for the year, I wrote this post where one of my goals was to earnestly get back in shape after 4 years of making excuses (my main excuse being the fact that I carried almost 12 pounds of baby matter & birthed our twinsies - DUH).

Little did I know that my "experiment" to find something other than running (due to my tweaked hip from running/training for 2 halfs poorly,  I might add, last year) would turn into a new, surprisingly wonderful, potentially life-changing new passion...yoga.

And not just any yoga.

Hot yoga. 

Sweltering hot, sticky, dripping, so-sweaty-I'm-uncomfortable-because-I'm-paranoid-I'm starting-to-stink-and-sweat-like-a-pig yoga.  

And it's the sauna-like heat and movement that makes you sweat like you would not believe, coming from places on your body you didn't know were even capable of breaking sweat (my ears, my forearms are good examples).

Add to this that everyone around you is breaking a mad sweat too.

This yoga is not totally of the bikram variety.
It is  the hot, vinyasa flow, ashtanga-type yoga with constant active postures.  One might call it the more athletic type of yoga vs. traditional hatha (restorative) yoga.

And now, I'm totally, completely hooked.  In fact, it's become so much a part of my life and routine that I don't quite think I can go without it without seriously getting cranky.   

It has not only kept me in shape and has not only restored me to my pre-baby, pre-wedding body in 5 months (size 26 jeans - WOOT!), but has kept me from going insane.  I also think yoga has even made me a more pleasant person to be around - for my family, friends and work colleagues alike. 

Effin' amazing.  There really is something to this yoga and mediation stuff.  I'm a believer and am a yogini for life, I just know it.

And, as an added benefit, my kids have become so aware of my yoga obsession that they are starting to get into it, too.

Hopefully this is how good habits get started.

Hannah and her version of Tree pose.

Namaste (holding my palms together to my third eye center, bowing my head to the ground).

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Still staving off the temptation

It's been about a year since I've started blogging about my life, our life. And so, I recently took a quick down memory lane and looked at what I was consumed with (and blogging about) this time last June '08.

And, funny enough (and not surprisingly), it seems to be the same stuff that consumes me this year:

Kids.

Husband.

Career.

Balancing priorities.

My girlfriends and ME-time

And of course, my latest fashion and product obsessions.

As for the last topic, I chuckled to myself when I read this post from last year about my-then (and continuing) fetish with handbags, especially designer ones.

When I read my list of consumables from that post, I've checked off nearly all the ones off the top of the list except that I still have not given into the temptation of the Pelham (which by the way, is now $1395 vs. the $1330 from 2008 prices).

The same main reason for not giving in apply this year: GUILT.

I simply cannot bring myself to spend the money on something that costs as much as 2/3 of a month's worth of preschool tuition (even though preschool is DONE for us in another week - YAH!) for something that only I can enjoy and get satisfaction from. My kids won't care that this thing is hanging off of my shoulder like I would. For all they know, it's just another sack where they can throw their water bottles and snacks when we're out and about around town. But, it just doesn't seem fair that only I would enjoy it, especially for that price tag.

Never mind that my husband didn't think twice when he dropped more than double the Pelham's price tag for that new triathlon bicycle. ugggggh.

But then again (as some friends tell me), maybe....maybe it's ok and sometimes I need to just give in. Because sometimes, we moms, we just gotta treat ourselves - no matter how impractical.

I think about the purse now and again as I pass Fashion Valley mall and consider perusing the Gucci store, but I KNOW that I will give in if I set foot in that place.

For now, I will continue to stave off the temptation and spend our dollars on other worthwhile, family-enriching things like Disney passes, Spanish and foreign language classes for the kids, or a short vacation weekend away...whatever else other stuff we can enjoy together.

And I'm sure that this time next year, I'll be writing another post about the damn purse and complaining how I continue to take one for the team.

Thursday, June 4, 2009

Why I Read to Myself

Having inquisitive and curious 4 year olds often forces me to think about behaviors and natural tendencies I have that I take for granted every day. That's just what I do, and of course, I don't think twice about it...until I get interrogated. And it seems like every day lately, I get a new question from one of my little guys on why I do something or say something the way I do.

The Scene:
H is lying with me in bed, while she "reads" her Dr. Suess book and I am reading my book club book. (Mind you, I just recently started reading for-fun novels again after a long hiatus. For a long time my mind and attention span could not take more than the occasional Economist, Time, InStyle, US Magazine and NYTimes Sunday edition. Who has time?!)

H: Mommy...

Me: Umm-hmmm, sweetie (engrossed in my book).

H: Why are you so quiet?

Me: I'm reading, honey.

H: I KNOW, Mommy.

Me: Ummm-hmmmm.

H: But why aren't you reading out loud?

Me: (finally understanding where she's going with this) Oh, you're wondering why I'm not reading out loud like I do with you guys?

H: Yes, Mommy.

Me: Well, most of the time I read quietly to myself so that I don't bother other people if they don't like the story I'm reading. Also, it makes me read faster when I read quietly, so I can get through big books like this one (as I flip through the pages of my 300-page novel). That's what a lot of grown-ups do, unless they are your teacher.

H: Oh.

Me: And when you learn how to read, you will likely read out loud for a while but over time, you will learn to read quietly to yourself.

H: I don't think I'll ever want to read quietly. But, I will want to read fast. But why does your book not have pictures like mine?

Me: Well, there are a lot of books with just words. Not having pictures allows me to use my imagination so I can see pictures in my head as I'm reading the story, which is a lot more fun.

(pause)

H: Oh, ok. That does sound like it would be more fun. But, I guess I need to learn how to read first before I can read quietly and read fast. And then I can make up pictures in my head like you do, right mommy?



Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Speaking of the (im)mortal...

...My kids are now somewhat obsessed with vampires.  And specifically, they are obsessed with him.

Yes, Edward.

Edward Cullen.

The Edward Cullen.

So, how did this happen?

Well, sometimes, instead of reading books to them at night, my husband and I make up stories. They saw me reading New Moon one night (which is the 2nd in the Twilight series of vampire novels) and asked me what it was about.  And I proceeded to tell them that the story is about vampires and werewolves.  And just like that...they thought I was the coolest mom for reading such a cool book about such cool mythical creatures.

Then they asked me to tell them a story about it, and so I did.  And thus, I began with the story of how Bella met Edward the vampire.

And now, just like the millions of tweens, teens and other adults out there who can't get enough of Bella and the Cullen family, they are hooked.  Especially on Edward.   They think he's just the best thing ever because he's a good vampire who doesn't eat people but has super-powers.

Wow, they learn fast about pop culture phenoms, don't they?

Monday, June 1, 2009

Explaining mortality to a 4 1/2 year old

Yesterday, we took the kids to the "Touch a Truck" event to benefit pediatric cancer research.  My friend and colleague, Andy Mikulak, formed the non-profit Max's Ring of Fire (which hosted the event) after the passing of his beautiful 7 year old boy Max to neuroblastoma (an aggressive childhood cancer) last August.  We were there to not only offer our support but also enjoy a family-friendly outing that we knew the kids would enjoy.

We had attended Max's "celebration of life"  last fall after his passing, so the kids still remember Max and continue to talk about him as if they actually knew him -- when in reality, they have never crossed paths.    

But to my kids, Max continues to be their hero because of his strength and courage in his 4 year fight against the horrible cancer.  And when they talk about heaven, they mention Max.

Every so often they ask about his cancer and are perplexed as to why he was so young when he died.  My grandmother passed this past February and they "got" that she was old and lived a long life, but they still sometimes don't understand what happened to Max.

L: Mommy, why did Max die?

Me: Because he was very, very sick.

L:  What made him sick?

Me: He had a disease, which is a sickness, and it's called cancer.

L:  Was it because he didn't wear socks or have his shots at the doctor?

Me:  No, honey...sometimes it just happens.  But, wearing socks and getting your shots at the doctor can help you stay healthy.

L: But, why?

Me:  I can't explain it honey. But, this is why it's always good to be as healthy as possible in the things you can control...like eating your veggies, exercising and other stuff.

L:  So even if you do all that stuff, you still may die?

Me: Yes, honey...but this is why it's good to treat your body in the best way possible and that includes what you eat and making sure you get physical activity. So, this means that you shouldn't let Grandma and Grandpa take you to Big M (McDonalds) too much because the food isn't very healthy.

L: Oh, OK.

Me: So, does this means you will try your veggies?

L: (long pause)  Um....No.

________

Despite the conversation that this event sparked between my son and I on mortality, I still think of Max often and am in awe of his courage and his vivacious spirit.   I often use him as an example of the brave warrior in all of us who is now smiling upon us as an angel in heaven.






Friday, May 22, 2009

Just do it

Below is the passage from one of my favorite Nike print ads, from the early 90's. I was in college at the time this ad campaign came out.

I don't know why this print ad inspired me so much at the time but after reading this again this week I realize that I still love it.

The message is quite simple and timeless:
Life happens but ultimately we all control our own destiny.
And often it amounts to the lens and attitude with which we choose to see the world that ultimately impacts how and if we move forward.

I sooo needed to read this again, especially this week.


You were born a daughter.
You looked up to your mother.
You looked up to your father.
You looked up at everyone.
You wanted to be a princess.
You thought you were a princess.
You wanted to own a horse.
You wanted to be a horse.
You wanted your brother to be a horse.
You wanted to wear pink.
You never wanted to wear pink.
You wanted to be a Veterinarian.
You wanted to be President.
You wanted to be the President's Veterinarian.
You were picked last for the team.
You were the best one on the team.
You refused to be on the team.
You wanted to be good in algebra.
You hid during algebra.
You wanted the boys to notice you.
You were afraid the boys would notice you.
You started to get acne.
You started to get breasts.
You started to get acne that was bigger than your breasts.
You wouldn't wear a bra.
You couldn't wait to wear a bra.
You couldn't fit into a bra.
You didn't like the way you looked.
You didn't like the way your parents looked.
You didn't want to grow up.
You had your first best friend.
You had your first date.
You had your second best friend.
You had your second first date.
You spent hours on the telephone.
You got kissed.
You got to kiss back.
You went to the prom.
You didn't go to the prom.
You went to the prom with the wrong person.
You spent hours on the telephone.
You fell in love.
You fell in love.
You fell in love.
You lost your best friend.
You lost your other best friend.
You really fell in love.
You became a steady girlfriend.
You became a significant other.

YOU BECAME SIGNIFICANT TO YOURSELF.

Sooner or later, you start taking yourself seriously. You know when you need a break. You know when you need a rest. You know what to get worked up about and what to get rid of. And you know when it's time to take care of yourself, for yourself. To do something that makes you stronger, faster, more complete. Because you know it's never too late to have a life. And never too late to change one.

JUST DO IT.

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Catharsis

dearest kids,

(breathe. breathe. breathe. deep. breaths. ooohhhhm.)

i am showing restraint right now by writing in my blog instead of marching into your bedroom like a drill sergeant and ordering you to go to bed.

it's 10:30p.m. and you are still up laughing and giggling and fighting and playing in the corners of your dimly lit room.

do you know that i have to wake you up at 6:30 a.m. tomorrow morning so i can make it in time to get myself together, get you together, feed you breakfast, eat my breakfast, lather you up with sunscreen, make your lunch, make my lunch, take you to preschool...all so i can make my 8:30 a.m. meeting at work??? (all this without any make-up and with my hair barely combed)

i know there are things i can do differently so it's not a battle every night when we put you down for bed and so that i am less tired when i wake up every morning.

like separate you.
or take the toys out of your room permanently.
or take down the nightlight and have it be completely dark.
or not keep you up with me to watch Idol, or Survivor or some other silly reality show.
or not stay up after i've put you down to surf the internets & facebook, or do work.

but i haven't acted on those ideas.

you know why?

because i inherently have faith that you will be able to deal and work through it. because you're 4 now.
and because i have an aspiration that instead of changing my habits, you may even adapt (even though i know it's unfair to expect from you).

or maybe sometimes i just don't want to deal which is why i am sitting here typing and venting instead of intervening and telling you for the 7th time to go to bed...because i'm so dang tired.

and that if i do go in there and intervene, i may have a mommy-dearest moment and say something i don't want to say or say something in a tone that i will regret later. and that you will be angry with me and resent me.

or maybe i'm just hoping that at some point ignoring your late-night-you-really-should-be-sleeping-banter is OK and that in a few minutes i'll have peace and quiet as you slowly fall into slumber.

......

which is what i now have, 25 minutes into typing this post.

whew.

ok, that felt good.

good night.

Saturday, May 16, 2009

(Almost) officially in my late 30's

Today is my last day of being 36.  

You know, when you can still consider yourself in the mid-30-something cohort.  

Tomorrow, May 17, I turn 37.  I think that officially qualifies me as being a part of the late-30's set.  

I am exactly how old my mom was when I first told my mom, "gosh, you're old, momma."

But I don't feel old.  I feel exactly the way I did when I was 27, but wiser and more strong than I've ever been  - strong in mind, spirit and physicality.  Which is all a 37-year-old can ask for.

So, as with every birthday, I take inventory of what's happened over the last year...well, the last 10 years.  And I realize how far I've come since I was 27.  And it makes me smile.

First of all, "I" is now a WE x4 - me + a husband and two 4 1/2 year old lovely children.  Twins, no less.  A boy and a girl.  I feel so blessed.

I don't live in a shoebox studio in San Fran anymore, living the life of a traveling consultant who never knew what city I would be in a month out.  I...we actually own a home and are about as settled as we will ever be.

And my career.  Who would have ever thought I would be doing what I'm doing and continuing to move this part of my life forward, but I am and I can't complain.  

So, with that, I celebrate the fullness of my life and how far I have come on my 37th birthday-- however small, careful, and few the baby-steps I've taken to get here.   

And.  
I know.  
I deserve. 

THIS.

Friday, May 15, 2009

I'm ba-ack.

Someone on FB reminded me the other day that I needed to update my blog (yes, that's you, M). And so I am.

I have to remember that I should not feel pressure to update this thing. And that this is here for my enjoyment, my venting outlet, and that updating this should be a fun thing.

It had been so long since I have updated this blog that I started feeling guilty for not updating it. And instead of addressing the guilt by taking action and blogging (even for just a short post), I kept prolonging it and then felt more and more guilty. Because of my guilt, I kept prolonging it and got into this virtuous cycle. (ever get into those cycles or is it just crazy me?!)

Well, I'm back. And I'm blogging. Even if it's about nothing. Or something short and quick. Or a silly, mundane thing that happened to me or the kids or US that I want to remember.

Because that's why I started this thing to begin with - to remember this crazy, busy, insane time in our lives when the kids are still this big, and life is THIS busy. Everyone I know with bigger or grown-up kids tells me that this time - this very special time - just zips by in a flash...and that someday, I'll want to remember and look back on these treasured days when the kids actually still want to hang out with me (instead of their friends) and when they are still so small that I can carry them without throwing out my back.

So here I am.

Friday, February 20, 2009

'xplainin the absence

busy, busy at work... management presentations galore.

family funeral last week in which i wrote the eulogy (more to come on this when i am repaired from this experience).

husband traveled this week, leaving me with kids all week long - along with a full plate at work. was pulling hair out.  four. days. straight.

i'll be back, just can't function enough to write a coherent blog post. 

am only capable of phrases and short snippets, a la Facebook statuses.

am depleted of energy but the old me shall return soon, thanks to my new found solace in yoga.

ooohhhhhmmmmm.

Saturday, January 31, 2009

Mammed up and A-OK

Let me just start this post by saying that I have some strong hypochondriac tendencies.

When I get a bad migraine or start forgetting things, I think I have a brain tumor.
When I start to get the dullest of pain in my joints, I think I'm getting arthritis or think that I need to see an orthopedist because I might need surgery for seemingly permanent damage. 
When I get a little soreness or lumpy in my boobs, I think it's breast cancer.

Well, I nearly scared myself last month and was so convinced  that something was wrong with my breasts last month.  Google and a semi-hypochondriac like myself are a scary combination.  So, for my annual "Well Woman" visit earlier this month, I demanded that I get a mammogram.  

Never mind that I am not yet 40.  
Never mind that I don't have any real lumps that I could feel. 
Never mind that there is no history of breast cancer in my family.
Something just felt a little off.   I just wanted it for my piece of mind.

Not to mention, I am slowly inching towards the 40's and a few people (including friends or relatives of friends) I know have been diagnosed...Maybe it's just my age group, but I am slowly starting to become aware of the fact that it could happen.

So, while I was with the doctor for my "Well Woman" appointment, she told me that it was not likely going to be covered by insurance since I am not yet 40.  And then she proceeded to examine me.   Then she proceeded to tell me that she felt some density on my left breast. 

Hmmm.  Interesting.  
Not what I expected since I had been diligent about doing my own exams and had never before felt anything strange.

"Well, since I am feeling some density and because you seem to really want to get the mammogram, I will go ahead an order one."

Uh, OK.

Of course, with our fabulous (being facetious) health care system here in the States, I had to wait another 3 weeks before getting an appointment with radiology.

And this past Thursday, I finally had my appointment in the Breast Cancer Center radiology department of the hospital which mind you, is a large university teaching hospital.  Great.  The Breast Cancer Center radiology, as opposed to just any radiology department.  Not great for a hypo like me to enter a place like this.  I was kind of freaking out, but my 40+ female friends said not to worry...They basically ran me through the drill:

Don't wear any deodorant.  
Don't put lotion or perfume on your chest. 
Wear pants and a top, not a one-piece dress. 
Be prepared for some discomfort when they pancake your breasts top-to-bottom and left-to-right.
And even if they find something, chances are great that it could still be benign.  
Etc.
 
So I went in, changed into my exam garb and sat in the waiting room.  I was probably the youngest woman there (which made sense).  Then, I got called in and had my very first mammogram and ultrasound.  And it wasn't so bad.

The worst of it was waiting for the radiologist's review and wondering if my life was going to change significantly.

And.  The.  News. Was.

Negative.  

Phhhheewwww.

I'm sure this means that I will now worry about some other ailment that I don't have.


Wednesday, January 21, 2009

CRigg is writing a post about Facebook statuses and her semi-addiction to them.

Facebook has become a semi-appendage that I can't seem to live without.  And in particular, I'm addicted to my friends' statuses.

You know, that thing at the top of your Facebook profile page where you can express whatever the hell you want about what it is you're doing, feeling, thinking, hating on, loving, whatevah... anything goes.

And ever since the Facebook peeps enabled the commenting feature on friends' statuses, I can't help but participate and comment on every little thing that moves me (or not), whether it's a friend in need of potty training advice, or someone bitching about a football score (or team), or even the seemingly mundane statuses that are not unique and occur for many of us throughout the day:

Suzy Q is at work.  
Me:  Me and you both!  Hang in there! :)

Johnny B is at home drinking wine.
Me: Have one for me!!! :)

Jane Doe has a cold.
Me: Feel better!!!!!  :\

Lizzie thinks Tina Fey is the bomb.
Me: LOVE HER!!  isn't she the greatest?!

You get the picture.   And somehow, I seem to over-exclamate, over-punctuate, over-capitalize and over-use emoticons, more than I ever do in a real-life, non-Facebook situation.  What is it about Facebook that drives this strange behavior in me?!   

And, when I don't hear from the regular statusers for a period of time (yes, that's you, M!), I begin to worry that something is wrong or that my friend needs some lovin.  So I reach out.

My husband laughs at me and calls me an addict.   He tells me I should be spending more of my Facebook time with the family instead of trolling peoples' statuses or friend lists.  And I know he's right.  I find myself logging in when I have a free moment just to see what my friends are up to through their Facebook status, and so that I can comment.  And I love to comment.  

But ultimately, what is it about Facebook statuses I find so intriguing??

The short answer: it's because I'm reconnected with old friends from all parts of my life and can now, through the magic and technology of Facebook, have a window into their lives...filling a vast data vacuum on so many of these folks that I have not been able to fill until now.  

And I just can't get enough.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

1.20.09 - A Beautiful Day

You know that song from U2, "Beautiful Day"?  

Well, that's what today was...for me, our kids, the citizens of our great country and for a many, many people around the world.   


That song was the backdrop for a ginormous day in our country's history, where many breathed a collective sigh of relief while feeling the giddy anticipation and excitement of a child on Christmas morning.  Like a child, we've been waiting a long time, hoping for a new gift that gave us a sense of renewal, even if we were to enjoy the newness of it for even a fleeting moment...knowing that the harsh reality of much work to be done will set in tomorrow. 

However, for today, let's enjoy the moment.  Today was historic and magical.  
Truly a "where were you when..." moment.

Where were you when Barack Obama was sworn in as President?

Here was my reality...yes, work.


I said this the other day when I posted and I'll say it again:   
Godspeed, President Obama.  May we exceed our own expectations.    

I pledge to do my part to help you - us - succeed.   

You inspire me and our country to do great things, and I (and my kids, although they don't realize it yet) can't thank you enough for it.   It truly is a gift.

(Yes, I sent them to preschool this way.  i know, i am shamelessly leveraging my kids to get across my beliefs.  It's my 1st amendment right after all.
God bless America.)

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Whatta man, whatta man, whatta man, whatta mighty good man

It's been a while since I've posted about Barack Obama so I thought I would do it again for good measure, especially in anticipation (and celebration!) of his upcoming inauguration to be our 44th President (yah!!!!!) on January 20th.  

Truly a big moment for our country.  We have come such a long way.

A friend posted this article on Facebook today of an open letter from Barack to his daughters, Malia and Sasha.  In it, he shares why he embarked on his campaign journey and what he envisions for his little girls and all children.

I so <3 heart <3 Barack.  I so hope he does not disappoint and that he exceeds all expectations.

Godspeed, President-Elect Obama.




Dodging bullets like Neo...and prevailing

Remember the movie The Matrix?  

Well, I felt like Keanu Reaves's character "Neo" this week, dodging bullets in slow motion while the world around me kept moving at normal speed.

If I'm being vague, it's intentional.   You can probably guess why.

It's the economy, stupid, as Slick Willy used to say.

But, I'm hanging in there, like everyone else in the world right now.

Because we have to.

Monday, January 12, 2009

Is this my 4-year old or my mom lecturing me?!

This, yesterday evening:

Me:  Sweeties, can you please clean up your room before you go to bed?  (looking around at the plentiful Star Wars action figures, the TinkerToys, the Matchbox cars, and other plastic creatures that cluttered the rug of their room)

H:  Relaaaaax, Mommy.  

Me:  Huh??  (Surprised, as I had never been told before to "Relax" from either of the kids)

H:  Mommy, we're just kids -  you've got to let us be kids.  Kids are supposed to have messy rooms because we like to play.



Wednesday, January 7, 2009

My Goals - 2009

OK,  I am inspired to put my 2009 goals out there like my real-world twin mom friend and blog buddy, Sarah, at See Sarah Spin.

Here goes...

Goal #1:  I will lose that twin pregnancy baggage from 4 years ago, if not through surgical help then definitely through natural means - eating better, working out, etc.  
How I know I'm successful: I will fit comfortably back into my size 4 clothes and my 26" waist jeans, preferably with no muffin top.

Goal #2:  I will work out at least 4 times a week and will vary up my routine besides only running.  This includes strength/core training and toning.
How I know I'm successful: See Goal #1 success criteria + I will have more energy.  Also, doing other exercise besides running...yoga, pilates, walking, hiking, swimming.

Goal #3:  I will floss at least more than I have in the past, take better care of my skin and in general, take care of my body - it's my body and I'm stuck with it.  So I better give it some TLC.
How I know I'm successful:  Younger, more youthful skin, good dental visits and strangers calling me "young lady"  or acting surprised (even if they are just humoring me) when I tell them my real age.

Goal #4:  I will spend more quality time and create more genuine encounter moments with my children and my husband.
How I know I'm successful:  Happy kids, happy husband who don't complain that I'm not present.  Mutually satisfying relationships.

Goal #5:  I will continue my path of community involvement/volunteering and take on a leadership role that also furthers my objective of advancing a skillset that can help me in other facets of my life like work, home, etc.
How I know I'm successful:  A developed network of contacts from my community involvement and volunteer work.  My community involvement actually shows tangible, positive outcomes.


Goal #6:  I will reduce my carbon footprint.
How I know I'm successful:  Hmmm.  That's a tough one to measure success.  I guess it's knowing that I am recycling more, driving less, etc.  

Goal #7:  I will eat more organically grown and produced foods.   And so will my family.   No processed crap or crap with preservatives.  This includes expanding the fruits and vegetables we grow in our garden as well as buying from local farmers and harvesters.
How I know I'm successful:  I guess knowing that we're doing this is enough!

And finally, Goal #8:  I will be more patient.
How I know I'm successful:  Putting on my "Pause" button before I start to talk/yell/scream. Being able to control my agitation if I want to say something or do something.

That's all.

Friday, January 2, 2009

Writing Exercise for the Soul

I found this writing exercise from a blog friend, Aaryn Belfer, who I also happen to have met through mutual friends in real life before I re-met her in the blogosphere.  (Go figure...Small world, indeed).  Anyway,  she has a blog I stalk on occasion.   She is also a brilliant photographer and staff writer for CityBeat here in San Diego.  

Anyway,  I really loved what this writing exercise illuminated about her, even though I barely know her.  I decided to do this for myself and post it here.  I know am putting myself out there by doing this, but it also feels strangely liberating.   And it makes me feel so damn self-aware.

If you read this and decide to do this as well, please let me know.  I would love, love, love to check it out.
__________________________________________


I live my life with purpose, but all too often with an eye toward the future instead of the present.  And I am all too aware of it.

I work to satisfy a need I have to do something more than be a wife, a mom, a...whatever.  And even though it takes away from precious family time on occasion, I need to be unapologetic about it.

I talk out loud to myself when I need to build up my confidence about something I need to say. Sometimes I think I'm crazy.

I wish that I didn't worry as much as I do as it's causing me not to live more in the moment.

I enjoy spending Saturday mornings  listening to my children play and interact with one another upstairs while my husband and I enjoy a coffee and reflect on our great life together, all the while our favorite iPod playlist is playing our life soundtrack in the background.

I look at my midsection every day and vow to get a tummy tuck...one of these days.

I smell my children's scent and deeply breathe in their aura every time I hug them.  Pure bliss.

I hide my insecurities from very few, but for the most part, I am an open book.

I pray when I run.  More like reflect.  Running provides a state of spirituality for me that I cannot find in any organized religious forum.

I walk only when I can't run.  Walking feels wimpy to me.

I sing at the top of my lungs in the car when I'm by myself.  Especially during American Idol season when I realize that anyone can be a rock star if they really wanted to set their mind to it.

I can do-it-all-dammit.  Or at least I try.    Just watch me, and maybe I'll even try harder.

I watch my husband interact with our children and am in awe of him and how patient and loving he is with them.   I really lucked out when I married him.  

I yearn to travel the world, live overseas and be an ex-pat, but realize that our life here could severely limit the prospect of doing so.  Which leads me to...

I daydream about being a contestant on the Amazing Race with my husband and seeing how it would potentially hurt or strengthen our marriage.  After all, it is our mutual love of travel and wanderlust that initially brought us together.  I also daydream (can I do another one??) of winning the lottery and what I would do with the money.  I wonder how it would change our lives, positively and negatively.  

I want (secretly) sometimes to keep up with the Joneses but then I catch myself doing it and then blow it off as a silly thought.

I cry at the drop of a hat, at the smallest things, and things that don't really warrant tears. Commercials, cheesy movies, even NCAA championships and Superbowl games.  Vaccination shots, kids' holiday pageants, you name it.

I read too little (in this post-babies era) and when I do I am embarrassed to tell people what I read because they consist of non-intelligent things.   Like Us magazine.  Or Lucky.   Or Perez Hilton.com.   Hey, I think political websites count as intelligent right?

I love my life but often wonder what other untapped potential there is waiting for me.

I wonder what is going on in my children's heads when I am conversing with them.

I touch my children's face and am in awe that there is still a whole lifetime of highs and lows that they have yet to experience.  And...

I hurt knowing that my children will at some point feel pain, sadness, guilt, inadequacy but that with the right coping skills that  we can help instill in them, they will be OK.

I fear dying and being abandoned, but I take solace in the fact that I attempt to live each day with purpose. 

I hope that the new president-elect does not disappoint.  The world's hopes lie in his ability to lead, especially after 8 years of virtually no leadership.

I eat out less often than I used to when I was single.  And when I do, it usually involves somewhere loud and a coloring book menu and crayons.

I break promises to my children sometimes when I bribe them.  When I see the look of disappointment in their faces, it breaks my heart and I think I'm a terrible mother.

I quit my unhealthy social smoking habit years ago, but I still sometimes crave a cigarette. Especially after a few glasses of wine.  Because it makes me feel like a bad-ass.

I bathe with my children in the shower and have come to really enjoy the typically mundane bath-time routine through their eyes.  Who knew that cups and bath paints could entertain so much?

I drink too much caffeine and alcohol and too little water.

I save like I am an immigrant who is hording cash to send back to the family in the motherland. Perhaps because that is what my parents did when I was growing up?

I hug my children's little bodies and savor their petite size now, knowing that hugs will come fewer and far between in several years.
 
I miss the giddiness I used to feel when I first met my husband and yearn for that giddiness on those many days in recent years when I feel as if we are two ships passing in the night.  And I wonder if all marriages follow this pattern and realize I am not alone.

I forgive my father, who has hurt me too many times during the most important events of my life.  I now realize that he has always been an attention-seeker and this was his way of satisfying this need.

I've learned that marriage is an unnatural act.  Putting two people together for the rest of their lives just goes against basic human instincts.  This is why marriage takes work.  And if you have found the right person it makes all the work worth it.

I have wonderful girlfriends who keep me grounded and in check, when my husband can't.

I don't have to do anything I don't want, but sometimes I do out of a sense of responsibility and obligation, because that's how I was raised.

I kiss my kids every night and stare at them as they sleep.  I love that peace I feel when I look at my slumbering children (as opposed to when they are awake and jumping on me).

I wonder if I've learned anything new about myself going through this exercise...