Back after a LOOOOONG hiatus

It's been - oh like - 8 months since I've written here.

But I've been having that antsy feeling again.

You know - that feeling of really needing to blow off steam and vent and share and pontificate and just BE.

And not in the "let's put this in my Facebook status" kind of way.

So, I am back and will re-dedicate myself to writing in this blog.

Why?

For the same reasons I started.
To chronicle my kids' goings-on and funny stories - who were 3 when I started. And who are now 5 and going on Kindergarten in the fall. And who are growing up so damn fast.

And also, to provide an outlet to share thoughts around what-evs.
Politics.
Social etiquette.
Keeping up a social life in suburbia - a social life that now consists of kids' birthday parties, soccer games, bunco and book club with the neighborhood ladies. and, the occasional GNO and weekends away in Vegas.
Parenting.
Being a wife.
Managing a career. Or a job.
Balancing on a tight rope.
Fashion do's and don'ts for the late 30's/40's set (which seems to be a popular topic these days with my fellow momma girlfriends here in suburbia).

And even if no one else reads this but me, who gives a sh&t?! It's for me and my kids. And maybe, for my friends and whomever will want to read and listen and participate.

'Cause I have a lot to say, dammit. ;-)

Catharsis

dearest kids,

(breathe. breathe. breathe. deep. breaths. ooohhhhm.)

i am showing restraint right now by writing in my blog instead of marching into your bedroom like a drill sergeant and ordering you to go to bed.

it's 10:30p.m. and you are still up laughing and giggling and fighting and playing in the corners of your dimly lit room.

do you know that i have to wake you up at 6:30 a.m. tomorrow morning so i can make it in time to get myself together, get you together, feed you breakfast, eat my breakfast, lather you up with sunscreen, make your lunch, make my lunch, take you to preschool...all so i can make my 8:30 a.m. meeting at work??? (all this without any make-up and with my hair barely combed)

i know there are things i can do differently so it's not a battle every night when we put you down for bed and so that i am less tired when i wake up every morning.

like separate you.
or take the toys out of your room permanently.
or take down the nightlight and have it be completely dark.
or not keep you up with me to watch Idol, or Survivor or some other silly reality show.
or not stay up after i've put you down to surf the internets & facebook, or do work.

but i haven't acted on those ideas.

you know why?

because i inherently have faith that you will be able to deal and work through it. because you're 4 now.
and because i have an aspiration that instead of changing my habits, you may even adapt (even though i know it's unfair to expect from you).

or maybe sometimes i just don't want to deal which is why i am sitting here typing and venting instead of intervening and telling you for the 7th time to go to bed...because i'm so dang tired.

and that if i do go in there and intervene, i may have a mommy-dearest moment and say something i don't want to say or say something in a tone that i will regret later. and that you will be angry with me and resent me.

or maybe i'm just hoping that at some point ignoring your late-night-you-really-should-be-sleeping-banter is OK and that in a few minutes i'll have peace and quiet as you slowly fall into slumber.

......

which is what i now have, 25 minutes into typing this post.

whew.

ok, that felt good.

good night.