Ooooohhhhhhmmmmmmmmm

Back in January when I was setting my goals for the year, I wrote this post where one of my goals was to earnestly get back in shape after 4 years of making excuses (my main excuse being the fact that I carried almost 12 pounds of baby matter & birthed our twinsies - DUH).

Little did I know that my "experiment" to find something other than running (due to my tweaked hip from running/training for 2 halfs poorly,  I might add, last year) would turn into a new, surprisingly wonderful, potentially life-changing new passion...yoga.

And not just any yoga.

Hot yoga. 

Sweltering hot, sticky, dripping, so-sweaty-I'm-uncomfortable-because-I'm-paranoid-I'm starting-to-stink-and-sweat-like-a-pig yoga.  

And it's the sauna-like heat and movement that makes you sweat like you would not believe, coming from places on your body you didn't know were even capable of breaking sweat (my ears, my forearms are good examples).

Add to this that everyone around you is breaking a mad sweat too.

This yoga is not totally of the bikram variety.

It is  the hot, vinyasa flow, ashtanga-type yoga with constant active postures.  One might call it the more athletic type of yoga vs. traditional hatha (restorative) yoga.

And now, I'm totally, completely hooked.  In fact, it's become so much a part of my life and routine that I don't quite think I can go without it without seriously getting cranky.   

It has not only kept me in shape and has not only restored me to my pre-baby, pre-wedding body in 5 months (size 26 jeans - WOOT!), but has kept me from going insane.  I also think yoga has even made me a more pleasant person to be around - for my family, friends and work colleagues alike. 

Effin' amazing.  There really is something to this yoga and mediation stuff.  I'm a believer and am a yogini for life, I just know it.

And, as an added benefit, my kids have become so aware of my yoga obsession that they are starting to get into it, too.

Hopefully this is how good habits get started.

Hannah and her version of Tree pose.

Namaste (holding my palms together to my third eye center, bowing my head to the ground).

Still staving off the temptation

It's been about a year since I've started blogging about my life, our life. And so, I recently took a quick down memory lane and looked at what I was consumed with (and blogging about) this time last June '08.

And, funny enough (and not surprisingly), it seems to be the same stuff that consumes me this year:

Kids.

Husband.

Career.

Balancing priorities.

My girlfriends and ME-time

And of course, my latest fashion and product obsessions.

As for the last topic, I chuckled to myself when I read this post from last year about my-then (and continuing) fetish with handbags, especially designer ones.

When I read my list of consumables from that post, I've checked off nearly all the ones off the top of the list except that I still have not given into the temptation of the Pelham (which by the way, is now $1395 vs. the $1330 from 2008 prices).

The same main reason for not giving in apply this year: GUILT.

I simply cannot bring myself to spend the money on something that costs as much as 2/3 of a month's worth of preschool tuition (even though preschool is DONE for us in another week - YAH!) for something that only I can enjoy and get satisfaction from. My kids won't care that this thing is hanging off of my shoulder like I would. For all they know, it's just another sack where they can throw their water bottles and snacks when we're out and about around town. But, it just doesn't seem fair that only I would enjoy it, especially for that price tag.

Never mind that my husband didn't think twice when he dropped more than double the Pelham's price tag for that new triathlon bicycle. ugggggh.

But then again (as some friends tell me), maybe....maybe it's ok and sometimes I need to just give in. Because sometimes, we moms, we just gotta treat ourselves - no matter how impractical.

I think about the purse now and again as I pass Fashion Valley mall and consider perusing the Gucci store, but I KNOW that I will give in if I set foot in that place.

For now, I will continue to stave off the temptation and spend our dollars on other worthwhile, family-enriching things like Disney passes, Spanish and foreign language classes for the kids, or a short vacation weekend away...whatever else other stuff we can enjoy together.

And I'm sure that this time next year, I'll be writing another post about the damn purse and complaining how I continue to take one for the team.

Speaking of the (im)mortal...

...My kids are now somewhat obsessed with vampires.  And specifically, they are obsessed with him.

Yes, Edward.

Edward Cullen.

The Edward Cullen.

So, how did this happen?

Well, sometimes, instead of reading books to them at night, my husband and I make up stories. They saw me reading New Moon one night (which is the 2nd in the Twilight series of vampire novels) and asked me what it was about.  And I proceeded to tell them that the story is about vampires and werewolves.  And just like that...they thought I was the coolest mom for reading such a cool book about such cool mythical creatures.

Then they asked me to tell them a story about it, and so I did.  And thus, I began with the story of how Bella met Edward the vampire.

And now, just like the millions of tweens, teens and other adults out there who can't get enough of Bella and the Cullen family, they are hooked.  Especially on Edward.   They think he's just the best thing ever because he's a good vampire who doesn't eat people but has super-powers.

Wow, they learn fast about pop culture phenoms, don't they?

CRigg is writing a post about Facebook statuses and her semi-addiction to them.

Facebook has become a semi-appendage that I can't seem to live without.  And in particular, I'm addicted to my friends' statuses.

You know, that thing at the top of your Facebook profile page where you can express whatever the hell you want about what it is you're doing, feeling, thinking, hating on, loving, whatevah... anything goes.

And ever since the Facebook peeps enabled the commenting feature on friends' statuses, I can't help but participate and comment on every little thing that moves me (or not), whether it's a friend in need of potty training advice, or someone bitching about a football score (or team), or even the seemingly mundane statuses that are not unique and occur for many of us throughout the day:

Suzy Q is at work.  

Me:  Me and you both!  Hang in there! :)

Johnny B is at home drinking wine.

Me: Have one for me!!! :)

Jane Doe has a cold.

Me: Feel better!!!!!  :\

Lizzie thinks Tina Fey is the bomb.

Me: LOVE HER!!  isn't she the greatest?!

You get the picture.   And somehow, I seem to over-exclamate, over-punctuate, over-capitalize and over-use emoticons, more than I ever do in a real-life, non-Facebook situation.  What is it about Facebook that drives this strange behavior in me?!   

And, when I don't hear from the regular statusers for a period of time (yes, that's you, M!), I begin to worry that something is wrong or that my friend needs some lovin.  So I reach out.

My husband laughs at me and calls me an addict.   He tells me I should be spending more of my Facebook time with the family instead of trolling peoples' statuses or friend lists.  And I know he's right.  I find myself logging in when I have a free moment just to see what my friends are up to through their Facebook status, and so that I can comment.  And I love to comment.  

But ultimately, what is it about Facebook statuses I find so intriguing??

The short answer: it's because I'm reconnected with old friends from all parts of my life and can now, through the magic and technology of Facebook, have a window into their lives...filling a vast data vacuum on so many of these folks that I have not been able to fill until now.  

And I just can't get enough.

Happy, Happy, Joy, Joy

I have waited 8 years for this.

What a victory it is. And it is so much sweeter because I know I did my teensy little part in making history here in California's 50th congressional district to help elect Barack Obama.

Effing amazing. I feel ebullient. Ecstatic. Hopeful. And I have faith in the American electorate again.

The enthusiasm and energy across the country... the world... is just amazing.

After today, I can go back to blogging about Hannah and Luke's poop or boogers and their goofy observations about life. Or darling husband's musings. Or mine, about something other than this election.

Hannah, Luke and darling husband - thanks for being so patient with me over the last 8 weeks.

All this campaigning and volunteering and electioneering and debating and attempts to educate others about why Barack- I did for you. I did this for our future, so we can feel hopeful and proud our what our country can achieve.

Yes we can.

Fear and loathing in America

There was a lot of hullaballoo this week about the recent McCain/Palin rallies and all of the fear and loathing that these candidates have incited at these events.

"Arab!"     "Terrorist!"      "Kill Him!"  

Basically, it was everything short of calling the man a N -----, which, I have no doubt, was  being privately harbored or said under one's breath by many.

I've watched endless news and YouTube videos this week of these rallies.  And I took heed of the audience's background comments as Palin made insinuations of Obama's dangerousness and terrorist associations.  Not surprisingly, I  became more and more appalled, and more and more saddened by what I was seeing.  

And then, I got bitter.  So bitter that I became almost obsessed about this turn of events this week, wondering how this incitement of fear and loathing would impact the polls and the tide of the election.   And more importantly, I wondered what types of deep-rooted, downright ugly sentiments would surface from the American electorate when stoked by others...in this case, pitbull Palin.

It harkened me back to a time when I was an awkward teenager living in Charlotte, North Carolina, just having moved from the cultural melting-pot of Northern California.   My bitterness was rooted in a seminal event from my youth: when I had first heard racial slurs directed at me from some ignorant teenagers at a Burger King drive-thru.  

"Chink!  Go back to your own country!"  

they yelled with a North Carolina southern twang.

Needless to say, I was shocked.  And angry.   And I told myself that these people were ignorant, stupid fools.  (By the way, there are very nice people in the state of North Carolina...I just happened to run into some unfortunate ones that night).

"There are other countries besides China in the continent of Asia.  These dumbasses think that every Asian is Chinese.   How stupid!  They probably can't even name other Asian countries on the map!"  

This is what I justified to myself as a 1st generation Filipino who had just been called a chink.  And after this,  I vowed to myself that when I grew up I was never going to live in a non-socially progressive place again  - I did not want my children to ever experience this kind of disdain and disrespect (little did I know how naive that thinking was).  

So back to the events of this week.  

I wondered who these people at these rallies are.  Are they the sons and daughters of small-town U.S.A.??  Of bumblef&ck hicksville??  It also made me wonder - are there many closeted, narrow-minded people here in my own backyard of the so-called socially progressive, culturally-tolerant state of California??  

Who are these people making these awful comments and where the hell did they come from?! 

And sadly, these were my angry thoughts as I tried to rationalize what I was seeing:

They are certainly not people that I dare associate with.  

Nor will we ever be cut from the same cloth.  

Because I am more educated and open-minded than these people.  (yeah, yeah, call me an elitist)

And they are just a bunch of...retards.

But then I realized, and a fellow socially-progressive friend (thanks, M!) reminded me:  mocking and making fun of these people does not advance our cause; it only serves to fuel the fire and further polarize Americans into the elitists and non-elitists, the progressives and the conservatives, the free-thinkers and the narrow-minded, the well-informed and the ignorant.

And today, McCain attempted to tame the flame that his campaign had started, whether they intended to do this or not.  Unfortunately, this flame may turn into a fire that will continue to burn, if not on the surface then in the closets and basements...and nothing can be done to put it out.  This ugliness is what scares me the most -- for our generation and for our children's generation.  

So, now, I must have patience.  Patience that America will come through.  Patience that some good will come out of this.   Patience that the dark days we Americans are feeling are almost behind us.  Patience that the hope I continue to feel is palpable and real and is practically within our reach.

And I must continue to have tolerance that not everyone sees the world as I do.  And that there is still some ugliness that exists in this world.  In this country.  And probably even in my own socially progressive backyard here in the state of California.

Patience and tolerance does not come easy for this working mom of twins, but for the sake of my sanity over the next 25 days left in this campaign, I will certainly try.

No country for (inconsistent, tired, clueless and corrupt) old men

Ok, so I'm back to my politics talk again. I just can't stay away from this topic.

So, the last few days have been B-U-S-Y...not only on the family and work side, but also on the "figuring-out-my-campaign-volunteering-commitment-between-now-and-November-4th" side.

After 4 days of spinning my wheels and creative negotiation with my husband and our September-October schedule, here's where I ended up with my Obama campaign involvement:

• Camp Obama & being a Deputy Field Organizer = just too much time commitment for little old me (Camp O meant at least 3 full weekends of volunteering - one weekend of boot camp training, 2 weekends in Nevada -- albeit Vegas - bling, bling, which would have been fun...we will likely still go though)
  
  
• After 4 phone conversations and 3 e-mails to the Obama4America peeps in the L.A. regional office, we've determined the best way for me to be involved is to sign-up with my local San Diego peeps.
  
  
• So now, I am on Team B in the 50th Congressional district (San Diego) and I have taken on a small leadership role called "Data Manager" - this is nice title for data input monkey for people who can't use the online tools for our canvassing calls to Nevada. (Ironically, as a tech person and computer savvy professional, this job is probably my worst nightmare since it involves picking up the slack of computer illiterate people and inputting their results into the voting software. BUT, I am over this and will do whatever it takes to help my team. Yes I am a pig, not a chicken, as the analogy goes.)

Last night I attended the 50th Congressional District Obama rally party in Encinitas. And how refreshing it was to be surrounded by 200 like-minded individuals who want so badly for our candidate to win that they are volunteering time to do so. The energy and excitement was palpable. And our stated goal for California campaign efforts is clear -- Help win Nevada's 5 electoral votes. This election may come to 5 votes at this rate.

This weekend, I begin my phone canvassing of Nevada undecided voters. And one of the weekends in October, our family will likely make the trip out to Las Vegas to do physical canvassing and voter registration - sans any Camp Obama training...I think we can handle it.
(Funny enough, with all of this Obama talk in our household, I have my almost 4-year-old twins saying "Obama for America" to their preschool teachers -- so much so that the teachers mentioned it to me the other day. Whoops! At least they will be ready for our Nevada canvassing. :)

I know, I know...all this time, all this commitment. And you know what? We may not win in November, but at least I will know that I am not just on the sidelines watching how this unfolds. 47 days commitment to this campaign is relatively short in the scheme of another 4 (or possibly 8) years of another potentially bad leader. I want to make my difference in this, however small.

To close, there was a great editorial I read earlier this week from Thomas Friedman, author of non-fiction bestseller The World Is Flat. The editorial was in the New York Times, entitled "Making America Stupid." It totally resonated with me and is the new article I point folks to when they ask me why I support Obama.

No country for (inconsistent, tired, clueless and corrupt) old men, especially McCain.

_________________

Update on my Data Manager role as of this evening's Obama campaign 9PM PST conference call :

Apparently, there's more to my responsibilities than data input guru. I will also be training other volunteers on the voter database software tool and will be the list generator for canvassing calls and for volunteer management on specific events like out of state travel, etc. OK, I feel better now. I think. This, on top of everything else. Oy. (I have to remind myself...it's only 47 more days in the grand scheme of 4 years of the same old, same old...)

BE it, don't just do it

So I told myself that I wasn't going to use this forum (too much) to even remotely pontificate (and/or rant, as I have been doing) on politics.

But lately I am finding that I can't help myself.

Why?

Because I CARE what happens to our country. And because I CARE how it affects my family and my kids, especially. And just because I lean left, that does not mean that I am not patriotic and I don't love America. Quite the contrary.

Tonight I read a very good, succinct blog post from Jamie Lee Curtis, the actress no less, on The Huffington Post. And she had echoed some things Obama said this weekend that I said a few days ago after having listened to Ms. Palin's RNC speech thinking to myself,

"Uh, oh...she was good (delivering from a teleprompter). SO GOOD that people are going to forget she's a friggin' puppet and be brainwashed by all of this KarlRovian garbage...like they were brainwashed in 2004 and 2000 - Lord help us."

Anyway, something in Jamie Lee's post struck me, and it was what she had quoted from Gandhi:

"You must be the change you wish to see in the world."

While this is not the first time I've seen this quote, it really resonated with me, in particular, related to this election.

With all of this talk about "change" from both sides (especially now that McCain decided to take on this as his campaign message), and with all of the GOP mockery of community organizers, this was the kick in the pants I needed. For me and the now and how I can make a difference come November 4th.

And as a registered Democrat and strong supporter of Barack Obama, I realized that I mustn't just sit here and let 2004 happen all over again. I needed to do my part outside of donating (which I have already done) or putting up lawn signs and bumper stickers in a state that will likely go blue anyway. And I can no longer be complacent and assume the last 8 years is enough to speak volumes and direct the American public to our candidate.

So this weekend, on a whim, I applied to help the Obama campaign and the Deputy Field Organizer Groups that they are mobilizing in California to spread the message to the audiences who most need to hear it. As such, the Obama campaign is recruiting a team of "community organizers" to attend Camp Obama with the goal of developing grassroots coalitions to gain victory in the battleground states. And while I can't travel to the battleground states with my current family and work responsibilities, I asked them if they could leverage me somehow remotely. I really don't know how, and highly doubt I will get "accepted" but I feel better knowing that I am trying to make a difference in this election.

Just BE it. My not-so-new mantra.

Not-so-new because when I stepped back to think about it, I've already started being some of the things I want to change in the world. But I still have more to be including making a difference (however small) with the choice of our new leader.

(ok, I'm done ranting for today.)

Designer bag = piece of art? Or is this my crazed form of justitication?

A few months ago, we received a small windfall into our bank account. Since then, Dave and I have been plotting on how to spend, oops I meant, save it.

So, we have our short list of expenditures/savings buckets we've discussed:

• spring/summer wardrobe refresh for Clarissa (check)
• Clarissa's shoe collection refresh (check)
• crown moulding in great room and master (check)
• Hannah and Luke's 529 accounts for college (check)
• Big overseas trip in 2009 (jury is still out. ask us about our 2007 fall trip to Europe with the twins)
• New 3 row seat hybrid SUV in 2009 (still under consideration)
  
• integrated audio/stereo system for the house (ummm, and what's the benefit of this??...still not sure about this one.)
• other random nice-to-have house enhancement knickknacks like new barstools, drapery on the main windows, etc. (check)

And then there's the hidden item.

And only a few of my friends know about it. It's the one I'm most excited about but also the most ashamed of. It's this.

Yes, the Pelham from the House of Gucci, at a whopping price tag of $1330.

And this doesn't include tax. Nor does it include the $8 of gas I will probably consume just to drive to Fashion Valley Mall to purchase it. And it's not even all leather. It's the classic Gucci canvas with leather straps (but not just any set of leather straps, according to the Gucci sales guy).

I have been coveting, oops I meant admiring this purse for some time now.
And it's within my reach if I just don't let my own perceived overindulgence and my designer purse and sunglasses addiction get to me.

Actually, never mind about my adoration of beautiful purses and sunglasses. Again, it's my Catholic guilt sweeping over me. How could I spend that amount of money when it's about 2/3 the amount of the twins' monthly preschool tuition?! Or when it's the amount that some folks in mid-America pay for a mortgage payment?! Maybe I feel guilty because the rest of the family can't enjoy it like they do with some of our other big ticket splurges like vacations. Or pieces of art. Or furniture.

Only I will reap the rewards of the Pelham.

Call me practical. It's not that we can't afford it. It's just that it feels just so...wasteful... indulgent...irresponsible. Especially when I think about what I could put that money towards in terms of the kids - their 529s, for example. Not that this amount will make a dent with the growing inflation of college tuitions. But when taking into consideration the compounded interest over a couple of years, hey - it's like $10K, which by 2022 (when the kids are college freshmen), can buy maybe food for a semester assuming the same rates of inflation. Who knows?!

My girlfriends remind me that I need to treat myself because I deserve it. And yes, I've worked hard at home and at work. They also remind me that this is my thing and the occasional luxury splurge is OK.

But still, I feel guilty for entertaining the thought.

One of my work colleagues (and friends) once told me that buying designer purses is like buying a piece of art. Like fine art, fine purses only grow in value over time. (This is the same woman who has Manolos and Fendi shoes out the wazoo). Of course, you display fine art, and alternatively, you wear purses and then eventually put them in their dust bag in the closet along with the other countless purses you've collected and swore "I just have to have this."

(Clarissa is still obsessing over the purse and has not taken action. She anticipates that she will continue to think about the purse all summer and spend at least that amount on useless other accoutrements. She will justify the lack-of -designer-purse-transaction by attempting to enjoy all of the accoutrements she was able to purchase as a result. And then she will end up regretting that she just didn't go ahead and buy that damn purse. But also by then, she'll be obsessing over the Fall collection.)