Blog guilt (Or, random musings and justification of how I spend my free time these days)

Where did the month go? 

The election happened; my candidate won.

Work continued to happen, and happen, and happen...with seemingly no end. (not that I am complaining...believe me, I'm just happy to have a job in these fragile economic times.)

The kids are getting closer to 4 years old with every passing day.

And now they are playing holiday music where ever I go.

Gyeeesh.  I know Q4 would fly but this is so ridiculous.

And.  I've been feeling guilty lately that I haven't been blogging.  After all, this is supposed to be my love letter to my kids, and my chronicle of our lives at this crazy, insane time in our lives. But I haven't been blogging.  And it's not that I don't have anything to blog about. 

I have plenty.

It's just that life is so....

Busy.  

Crazy.

Rushed.

That I don't have time to collect myself and my thoughts and write something semi-coherent and meaningful.

And when I do have that extra time these days, I choose to have a massage.  Or do some retail therapy (or window shopping, in this economy).  Or get my nails done. Or have a date with my husband.  Or grab drinks with the girls.   Since I barely have time for myself anymore - outside of parenting, working, wifing, etc.  And the last thing I want to do with any down time is sit in front of a computer when I've been sitting in front of one all damn day for work.

I keep thinking that things will slow down.

And maybe I should accept that they won't and that such is life and such is the pace where I am - WE ARE - in our lives right now.

For now, I will post a few of my favorite, recent photos of the kids that we recently took for our annual family beach photo shoot.  I'm also posting these because I've noticed lately that my last several posts have no photos (and this is why I started this whole thing to begin with - to chronicle our lives right now!)

These photos makes me smile.  And it reminds me that all of the craziness I feel at times (ok, probably most of the time) is ALL worth it.

Happy, Happy, Joy, Joy

I have waited 8 years for this.

What a victory it is. And it is so much sweeter because I know I did my teensy little part in making history here in California's 50th congressional district to help elect Barack Obama.

Effing amazing. I feel ebullient. Ecstatic. Hopeful. And I have faith in the American electorate again.

The enthusiasm and energy across the country... the world... is just amazing.

After today, I can go back to blogging about Hannah and Luke's poop or boogers and their goofy observations about life. Or darling husband's musings. Or mine, about something other than this election.

Hannah, Luke and darling husband - thanks for being so patient with me over the last 8 weeks.

All this campaigning and volunteering and electioneering and debating and attempts to educate others about why Barack- I did for you. I did this for our future, so we can feel hopeful and proud our what our country can achieve.

Yes we can.

Why I haven't been blogging lately

Yeah, I know.  Excuses, excuses:

Kids and family.

Work, work, and more work.  (it's kicking my ass right now!)

Busy weekend schedule - birthday parties, travel, Lord knows what else. 

Obama campaign volunteering, with 14 days to go.

Did I mention work?

Internet surfing to satisfy my internal political junkie and obsession with this campaign.

Would. Rather. Sleep. 

(OMG, where the hell did October go?!)

Blog topics that I will attempt to cover in the near-term, time permitting:  

• Funny (and appalling!) stories from my campaign involvement (and the myriad 80 year olds I seem to have to call from my canvassing lists)
  
• Camping with the kiddos, Take 1 (or, how to avoid having your 3 year old twins whine all night  when sleeping in a tent in the great outdoors)
  
• Family reunion (I guess I now understand why we only seem to do this every couple of years)
  
• Birthday party planning (I can't believe my babies are  actually kids now!)
  

You see, I actually DO have a lot to say and share; there are just not enough hours in the day to write about them.  

Wisteria Lane = my neighborhood?

I think my neighborhood is turning into Wisteria Lane.

We have quite a few Lynette Scavos (the strong-willed, full-time working, Alpha moms).

We have a Gabrielle Solis (the fashionista, diva-type).

We have a Susan Mayer (the down-to-earth, cutsie single mom).

While there is no one who is fully a Bree Van De Camp Hodge, we all have a little Bree in all of us  (the ultra-proper, Martha-Stewart-esque, uber mom who on the surface is put together but under the covers is a complete, hot mess).

And we even have an Edie Britt (the single, bitchy, watch-your-husband-or-she-might-try-to-bang-him type...)

Our neighborhood's tendencies to be Wisteria Lane-like has been even more pronounced by a lot of recent drama that has taken place in the lives of the women who live here.  And drama, it is... 

With drama and very public knowledge of your neighbors' goings-on comes the gossip and unfair carousing and side-taking.

And I don't want any part of it.

But I find myself getting sucked in.  

Why?  Because I have grown to actually like some of these people (well, maybe not the Edie-type).   A few of them I consider to be good friends vs. only acquaintances.  And I care about them.

But some of the drama is making me sick...and sad.

Is this the inevitable nature of white-collar-class American suburbia?  Or is it just my 'hood?

(i will probably regret even writing this in the morning...but in the true spirit of blogging - which is journaling, really - i am writing this as a cathartic measure so i can vent and get it all out...i refuse for my voice to be dictated by who may or may not see it...Or, am I just plain stupid?!)

Tired.

TGIF.  What a week.

Between a kick-butt work week, the Olympics (watching, let's be clear), mothering and being a wife to my husband (barely), I just feel exhausted.  Like I don't have much to give, much less to myself.  

So when I sit here all by my lonesome, with everyone asleep, and the house still, what do I do?

I want to write.  Or sit.  Or muse and ponder.  

Or all of the above.

But I'm so beat I can barely keep my eyes open as I type.  

Why am I still writing?

So I can remember.

Remember that there are good weeks and bad weeks.  Remember that being a full-time working mom, or a MOM in general is not easy and can leave you depleted at the end of the day...at the end of the week...where even though you have the aspiration to catch that precious time that you've already spent away from the family all week, your real desire is to hole up and sit by yourself.  And think about nothing.  Or write about nothing...like I am doing now.  Or just be.

I sometimes forget what that's like - to just be.  And it's kind of nice.  

This is exactly why I blog.