Lately, our adventures and get-togethers have extended beyond our once a month girls-night-in playing Bunko. And many of them have become my friends.
We now go to each others' kids' birthday extravaganzas.
We attend each others' own birthday dinners.
We throw each other baby showers for #2 (or #3).
We support each others' fundraisers.
We sneak away during weekend errands to get manis and pedis together.
We get together in the guise of creating farm-fresh, organic meals for our families at those big-ass dinner-packaging places when we are really just looking for an excuse to have a glass of wine with our girlfriends during the week.
We support each other when getting botox and lipo...(oh, sorry, wrong mom's club...that's in Orange County)
We even walk 5ks, train for and run half marathons together.
And so, it's opened up a whole new social circle for me: the world of Southern California suburban super-mommies. They are MY sisterhood of the traveling pantsuits.
It's a world I always knew existed but never thought I would be a part of, at least 4 years ago when I started this adventure called parenting. And here I am in the thick of it...and I love it.
But lately, my husband has been complaining.
He thinks all of these social events weekend-in and weekend-out is just too much. And that it's taking away from us. The family. Even when a lot of our activities with the sisterhood of the traveling pantsuits involve the family (outside of Bunko of course).
So why is he still bitching about it?
I am hypothesizing it's because he is slightly jealous that I've developed a bond with these ladies that he hasn't replicated with guy friends since we've lived here. I'm also conjecturing that he does not like to have his social plans almost exclusively scheduled by me. But of course, he would never admit that to me.
Or is it because, at a fundamental level, he does not understand that women need other good female friends, that they feed off each other and rely so heavily upon the female bonds we make to feel normal and semi-validated?
And that the time we spend with other women vindicates all of the seemingly crazy emotions we feel as moms-trying-to-balance-it-all-dammit. And that all of this is just par for the course of attempting to be a super-mom, a super-woman in this day, in this age, in our situations?
Well, I don't know that he will ever really understand, but I guess that's why I rely on my sisterhood.
4 comments:
What our husbands don't realise that without the sisterhood, we lose our ability to function like a sane capable woman, because the sisterhood lets us lose that sanity for just a little while and love us all the same.
OMG. Same issue. Why can't we do it all? Everything in moderation right? I was blasted for going out on the boy's birthday--mind you AFTER they were in bed, asleep, for a going away party for my best gal pal moving to London...Why is it that when you DO stay home, they are pretty much checked out anyway? Just a little rant. This is really tough stuff!
Amen sista! I was one of those single women who would drive by the park or watch the mommies at Sea World and Mission Bay thinking,"they must talk about kids all day long!" and now here I am, 5 years later, LOVING my "new mommie girlfriends" thinking, "we have so much to talk about in addition to our children", love it and now look forward to any excuse to hang out both with and without the hubbies and kiddies! Rock on!
Glad to see that this resonates! I feel like I struggle with this week in and week out.
I *think* my husband is starting to get it but I still need to keep reminding him how important this is for me to have my girlfriend/homey time!
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