Back to school blues

Hannah and Luke start preschool again on Monday. And I am feeling mixed emotions about their return to school.

On one hand, I am excited because they've had a nice, activity-filled summer with grandma and grandpa and I think they are ready for more structured days and play-based academic learning again.

On the other hand, I feel nervous.

Why?

Because, based on the recommendation of their last preschool teacher and the director of the school, we are putting them in different classes for the first time. With different teachers. And at some point they will be making different friends alltogether.

And I guess it's okay, since of course, as twins, it is inevitable that they would eventually split up as a "unit"...but at 3 years old? I've only known them together, doing almost everything together.

But, the obvious rationale here is that they need to develop independently -- socially, academically, physically. And better to get that established sooner rather than later.

Still, I am anxious about our decision. Hannah is the independent, the pensive and methodical one...the thinker. She is also Luke's caretaker -- she loves to mother Luke. She is also painfully shy and relies on her very gregarious brother. Luke on the other hand, is the social butterfly, the life of the party, the physically active one as well as the problem solver. He is also very sensitive and needs his twin sister.

They are two unique individuals with their own demeanors who will eventually choose their own path...I know, but still, I wasn't ready for this yet.

We've prepped them the last 2 weeks that they would not be together at school, except for a few times in the 4-year old playground, and they seem to be OK with it.

Despite this, I feel angst. And I also feel a little sad. Going back to school means that the summer is pretty much over. And going back to school also means that my babies are growing up.