A working mom's best friend after a loooong week

BS & T

Bombay Sapphire Gin and Tonic.

Thank God for my darling bartender.

it's only the beginning

The other day I was lecturing Luke on some random thing that I can't even remember what it was. 

Well, I was shocked and surprised when he retaliated and expressed his anger saying something that I was totally not expecting to hear.

He called me an idiot.

Yes, an idiot.

Of course, my jaw dropped.

He obviously heard that from someone in preschool, and NOT in our house.  Because the house rule is that (especially for Dave and I) we NEVER say such words to each other (or in general) in the house...words like "stupid"..."dumb"..."idiot"...

But of course, here's Luke dropping "idiot" like it's the word "mommy" or "water".

Oy.

Needless to say, I lectured him (nicely, of course) about the word idiot and told him that it hurt my feelings to hear him say that to me.

And he knew that it was not a nice thing to say as soon as the word left his mouth and he saw my reaction. 

I later told Dave what he called me and he laughed. 

Indeed, we can't shelter them from these things.  And I know it will only get worse as they start school and get surrounded by kids whose parents utter these words in front of them and have habits that would make me faint. 

But, I need to just trust in our parenting.  And trust that I - we -  are raising them in a way that they will have good judgment to do and say what's right and good when confronted by not-so-pleasant things, words, whatevah...

Ayayayayayayay.

SoCal moment #154

I ran into a friend (mostly casual acquaintance) who I hadn't seen in a while the other day.

And as I reached out to give her a greeting and a hug, she pulled away (not in a hostile way) pointed to her boobs and said, "Careful.  I just had these done."

I couldn't figure out if she really was tender and sensitive in her boob area, or if she was merely calling attention to her 2 new BFFs.

Probably a little of both.

(I don't know why, but I am just so amused by that story.  I really shouldn't be because this is so damn typical behavior of the - ahem, ahem -  age/income demographic where I live  - the aspiring MILF, almost-bordering-on-cougar, Wisteria Lane-types who live in my bubble of Southern California suburbia...but then again, I only live in THE ultimate cosmetic and collagen-n-botox-injection-happy capital of the world...yes, counting LA of course.)

Facebook usernames...wha?

I don't get all of the kerfuffle about the Facebook username feature launch the other day.

Don't get me wrong, I got one approximately an hour after they made the username functionality available on 6/12/09...just to avoid someone "name squatting" me.

But, I still don't get it.  

Is this so I can send a URL to friends and family that's easy to remember?   But, can't they just find me on FB by searching through their friends?

And if friends and family are not already on FB connected to me, I don't want anyone else, anywhere else on the web finding me and seeing what I have to say.  Uh...huh?

Thankfully my FB profile is still all behind registration, and still retains my desired privacy settings.  (I know, I am a FB dork)

Point, please?

Ooooohhhhhhmmmmmmmmm

Back in January when I was setting my goals for the year, I wrote this post where one of my goals was to earnestly get back in shape after 4 years of making excuses (my main excuse being the fact that I carried almost 12 pounds of baby matter & birthed our twinsies - DUH).

Little did I know that my "experiment" to find something other than running (due to my tweaked hip from running/training for 2 halfs poorly,  I might add, last year) would turn into a new, surprisingly wonderful, potentially life-changing new passion...yoga.

And not just any yoga.

Hot yoga. 

Sweltering hot, sticky, dripping, so-sweaty-I'm-uncomfortable-because-I'm-paranoid-I'm starting-to-stink-and-sweat-like-a-pig yoga.  

And it's the sauna-like heat and movement that makes you sweat like you would not believe, coming from places on your body you didn't know were even capable of breaking sweat (my ears, my forearms are good examples).

Add to this that everyone around you is breaking a mad sweat too.

This yoga is not totally of the bikram variety.

It is  the hot, vinyasa flow, ashtanga-type yoga with constant active postures.  One might call it the more athletic type of yoga vs. traditional hatha (restorative) yoga.

And now, I'm totally, completely hooked.  In fact, it's become so much a part of my life and routine that I don't quite think I can go without it without seriously getting cranky.   

It has not only kept me in shape and has not only restored me to my pre-baby, pre-wedding body in 5 months (size 26 jeans - WOOT!), but has kept me from going insane.  I also think yoga has even made me a more pleasant person to be around - for my family, friends and work colleagues alike. 

Effin' amazing.  There really is something to this yoga and mediation stuff.  I'm a believer and am a yogini for life, I just know it.

And, as an added benefit, my kids have become so aware of my yoga obsession that they are starting to get into it, too.

Hopefully this is how good habits get started.

Hannah and her version of Tree pose.

Namaste (holding my palms together to my third eye center, bowing my head to the ground).

Still staving off the temptation

It's been about a year since I've started blogging about my life, our life. And so, I recently took a quick down memory lane and looked at what I was consumed with (and blogging about) this time last June '08.

And, funny enough (and not surprisingly), it seems to be the same stuff that consumes me this year:

Kids.

Husband.

Career.

Balancing priorities.

My girlfriends and ME-time

And of course, my latest fashion and product obsessions.

As for the last topic, I chuckled to myself when I read this post from last year about my-then (and continuing) fetish with handbags, especially designer ones.

When I read my list of consumables from that post, I've checked off nearly all the ones off the top of the list except that I still have not given into the temptation of the Pelham (which by the way, is now $1395 vs. the $1330 from 2008 prices).

The same main reason for not giving in apply this year: GUILT.

I simply cannot bring myself to spend the money on something that costs as much as 2/3 of a month's worth of preschool tuition (even though preschool is DONE for us in another week - YAH!) for something that only I can enjoy and get satisfaction from. My kids won't care that this thing is hanging off of my shoulder like I would. For all they know, it's just another sack where they can throw their water bottles and snacks when we're out and about around town. But, it just doesn't seem fair that only I would enjoy it, especially for that price tag.

Never mind that my husband didn't think twice when he dropped more than double the Pelham's price tag for that new triathlon bicycle. ugggggh.

But then again (as some friends tell me), maybe....maybe it's ok and sometimes I need to just give in. Because sometimes, we moms, we just gotta treat ourselves - no matter how impractical.

I think about the purse now and again as I pass Fashion Valley mall and consider perusing the Gucci store, but I KNOW that I will give in if I set foot in that place.

For now, I will continue to stave off the temptation and spend our dollars on other worthwhile, family-enriching things like Disney passes, Spanish and foreign language classes for the kids, or a short vacation weekend away...whatever else other stuff we can enjoy together.

And I'm sure that this time next year, I'll be writing another post about the damn purse and complaining how I continue to take one for the team.

Why I Read to Myself

Having inquisitive and curious 4 year olds often forces me to think about behaviors and natural tendencies I have that I take for granted every day. That's just what I do, and of course, I don't think twice about it...until I get interrogated. And it seems like every day lately, I get a new question from one of my little guys on why I do something or say something the way I do.

The Scene:

H is lying with me in bed, while she "reads" her Dr. Suess book and I am reading my book club book. (Mind you, I just recently started reading for-fun novels again after a long hiatus. For a long time my mind and attention span could not take more than the occasional Economist, Time, InStyle, US Magazine and NYTimes Sunday edition. Who has time?!)

H: Mommy...

Me: Umm-hmmm, sweetie (engrossed in my book).

H: Why are you so quiet?

Me: I'm reading, honey.

H: I KNOW, Mommy.

Me: Ummm-hmmmm.

H: But why aren't you reading out loud?

Me: (finally understanding where she's going with this) Oh, you're wondering why I'm not reading out loud like I do with you guys?

H: Yes, Mommy.

Me: Well, most of the time I read quietly to myself so that I don't bother other people if they don't like the story I'm reading. Also, it makes me read faster when I read quietly, so I can get through big books like this one (as I flip through the pages of my 300-page novel). That's what a lot of grown-ups do, unless they are your teacher.

H: Oh.

Me: And when you learn how to read, you will likely read out loud for a while but over time, you will learn to read quietly to yourself.

H: I don't think I'll ever want to read quietly. But, I will want to read fast. But why does your book not have pictures like mine?

Me: Well, there are a lot of books with just words. Not having pictures allows me to use my imagination so I can see pictures in my head as I'm reading the story, which is a lot more fun.

(pause)

H: Oh, ok. That does sound like it would be more fun. But, I guess I need to learn how to read first before I can read quietly and read fast. And then I can make up pictures in my head like you do, right mommy?

Speaking of the (im)mortal...

...My kids are now somewhat obsessed with vampires.  And specifically, they are obsessed with him.

Yes, Edward.

Edward Cullen.

The Edward Cullen.

So, how did this happen?

Well, sometimes, instead of reading books to them at night, my husband and I make up stories. They saw me reading New Moon one night (which is the 2nd in the Twilight series of vampire novels) and asked me what it was about.  And I proceeded to tell them that the story is about vampires and werewolves.  And just like that...they thought I was the coolest mom for reading such a cool book about such cool mythical creatures.

Then they asked me to tell them a story about it, and so I did.  And thus, I began with the story of how Bella met Edward the vampire.

And now, just like the millions of tweens, teens and other adults out there who can't get enough of Bella and the Cullen family, they are hooked.  Especially on Edward.   They think he's just the best thing ever because he's a good vampire who doesn't eat people but has super-powers.

Wow, they learn fast about pop culture phenoms, don't they?

Explaining mortality to a 4 1/2 year old

Yesterday, we took the kids to the "Touch a Truck" event to benefit pediatric cancer research.  My friend and colleague, Andy Mikulak, formed the non-profit Max's Ring of Fire (which hosted the event) after the passing of his beautiful 7 year old boy Max to neuroblastoma (an aggressive childhood cancer) last August.  We were there to not only offer our support but also enjoy a family-friendly outing that we knew the kids would enjoy.

We had attended Max's "celebration of life"  last fall after his passing, so the kids still remember Max and continue to talk about him as if they actually knew him -- when in reality, they have never crossed paths.    

But to my kids, Max continues to be their hero because of his strength and courage in his 4 year fight against the horrible cancer.  And when they talk about heaven, they mention Max.

Every so often they ask about his cancer and are perplexed as to why he was so young when he died.  My grandmother passed this past February and they "got" that she was old and lived a long life, but they still sometimes don't understand what happened to Max.

L: Mommy, why did Max die?

Me: Because he was very, very sick.

L:  What made him sick?

Me: He had a disease, which is a sickness, and it's called cancer.

L:  Was it because he didn't wear socks or have his shots at the doctor?

Me:  No, honey...sometimes it just happens.  But, wearing socks and getting your shots at the doctor can help you stay healthy.

L: But, why?

Me:  I can't explain it honey. But, this is why it's always good to be as healthy as possible in the things you can control...like eating your veggies, exercising and other stuff.

L:  So even if you do all that stuff, you still may die?

Me: Yes, honey...but this is why it's good to treat your body in the best way possible and that includes what you eat and making sure you get physical activity. So, this means that you shouldn't let Grandma and Grandpa take you to Big M (McDonalds) too much because the food isn't very healthy.

L: Oh, OK.

Me: So, does this means you will try your veggies?

L: (long pause)  Um....No.

________

Despite the conversation that this event sparked between my son and I on mortality, I still think of Max often and am in awe of his courage and his vivacious spirit.   I often use him as an example of the brave warrior in all of us who is now smiling upon us as an angel in heaven.