Ever feel like you're running on a treadmill...

...and not sure how much further you have to go?

That's how I feel right now, and have been feeling for a few weeks.

Am trying to get it together.

This working mom stuff and my aspirational attempts to do-it-all is breaking me.

Thank goodness for my kids and husband, who put it all in perspective. That's what really matters in times of general stress and busy-ness.

Why I haven't been blogging lately

Yeah, I know.  Excuses, excuses:

Kids and family.

Work, work, and more work.  (it's kicking my ass right now!)

Busy weekend schedule - birthday parties, travel, Lord knows what else. 

Obama campaign volunteering, with 14 days to go.

Did I mention work?

Internet surfing to satisfy my internal political junkie and obsession with this campaign.

Would. Rather. Sleep. 

(OMG, where the hell did October go?!)

Blog topics that I will attempt to cover in the near-term, time permitting:  

• Funny (and appalling!) stories from my campaign involvement (and the myriad 80 year olds I seem to have to call from my canvassing lists)
  
• Camping with the kiddos, Take 1 (or, how to avoid having your 3 year old twins whine all night  when sleeping in a tent in the great outdoors)
  
• Family reunion (I guess I now understand why we only seem to do this every couple of years)
  
• Birthday party planning (I can't believe my babies are  actually kids now!)
  

You see, I actually DO have a lot to say and share; there are just not enough hours in the day to write about them.  

Fear and loathing in America

There was a lot of hullaballoo this week about the recent McCain/Palin rallies and all of the fear and loathing that these candidates have incited at these events.

"Arab!"     "Terrorist!"      "Kill Him!"  

Basically, it was everything short of calling the man a N -----, which, I have no doubt, was  being privately harbored or said under one's breath by many.

I've watched endless news and YouTube videos this week of these rallies.  And I took heed of the audience's background comments as Palin made insinuations of Obama's dangerousness and terrorist associations.  Not surprisingly, I  became more and more appalled, and more and more saddened by what I was seeing.  

And then, I got bitter.  So bitter that I became almost obsessed about this turn of events this week, wondering how this incitement of fear and loathing would impact the polls and the tide of the election.   And more importantly, I wondered what types of deep-rooted, downright ugly sentiments would surface from the American electorate when stoked by others...in this case, pitbull Palin.

It harkened me back to a time when I was an awkward teenager living in Charlotte, North Carolina, just having moved from the cultural melting-pot of Northern California.   My bitterness was rooted in a seminal event from my youth: when I had first heard racial slurs directed at me from some ignorant teenagers at a Burger King drive-thru.  

"Chink!  Go back to your own country!"  

they yelled with a North Carolina southern twang.

Needless to say, I was shocked.  And angry.   And I told myself that these people were ignorant, stupid fools.  (By the way, there are very nice people in the state of North Carolina...I just happened to run into some unfortunate ones that night).

"There are other countries besides China in the continent of Asia.  These dumbasses think that every Asian is Chinese.   How stupid!  They probably can't even name other Asian countries on the map!"  

This is what I justified to myself as a 1st generation Filipino who had just been called a chink.  And after this,  I vowed to myself that when I grew up I was never going to live in a non-socially progressive place again  - I did not want my children to ever experience this kind of disdain and disrespect (little did I know how naive that thinking was).  

So back to the events of this week.  

I wondered who these people at these rallies are.  Are they the sons and daughters of small-town U.S.A.??  Of bumblef&ck hicksville??  It also made me wonder - are there many closeted, narrow-minded people here in my own backyard of the so-called socially progressive, culturally-tolerant state of California??  

Who are these people making these awful comments and where the hell did they come from?! 

And sadly, these were my angry thoughts as I tried to rationalize what I was seeing:

They are certainly not people that I dare associate with.  

Nor will we ever be cut from the same cloth.  

Because I am more educated and open-minded than these people.  (yeah, yeah, call me an elitist)

And they are just a bunch of...retards.

But then I realized, and a fellow socially-progressive friend (thanks, M!) reminded me:  mocking and making fun of these people does not advance our cause; it only serves to fuel the fire and further polarize Americans into the elitists and non-elitists, the progressives and the conservatives, the free-thinkers and the narrow-minded, the well-informed and the ignorant.

And today, McCain attempted to tame the flame that his campaign had started, whether they intended to do this or not.  Unfortunately, this flame may turn into a fire that will continue to burn, if not on the surface then in the closets and basements...and nothing can be done to put it out.  This ugliness is what scares me the most -- for our generation and for our children's generation.  

So, now, I must have patience.  Patience that America will come through.  Patience that some good will come out of this.   Patience that the dark days we Americans are feeling are almost behind us.  Patience that the hope I continue to feel is palpable and real and is practically within our reach.

And I must continue to have tolerance that not everyone sees the world as I do.  And that there is still some ugliness that exists in this world.  In this country.  And probably even in my own socially progressive backyard here in the state of California.

Patience and tolerance does not come easy for this working mom of twins, but for the sake of my sanity over the next 25 days left in this campaign, I will certainly try.

My Extreme Makeover - on the Today Show site! (thankfully, no photos)

I mentioned in a post last week that my company, along with Dr. Amy Wechsler, has launched a new book on skincare with a short case study about yours truly on pages 21-23 of the book.

Well, Dr. Amy was on the Today Show the other day and my specific write-up and excerpt from the book is on the Today Show website, here. How fun!

From the write-up, I sound like I lead a crazy, pathetic life of a working mom who has no time to take care of herself, but I guess it's necessary if they want to tell a true makeover story.

Hehe.

Veeps face-off

Was it me, or was the Veep debate tonight MUCH more interesting than last Friday night's debate??!

Q4 is here

October 1 marks the beginning of what us calendar year fiscal year corporate folks call Q4.  So, no doubt, things are really, really busy.

For everyone else, it marks the beginning of the "holidays" which it seems starts earlier and earlier every year.   And with the holidays, comes the kids' birthday (along with the Star Wars-themed party I must plan along with it) - their 4th.

OMG.

Where did the year go?

And where did my babies go?

4 1/2 months old, April 2005

 

Almost 4 years old, September 2008

My 15 minutes of fame

About a year ago, one of my work colleagues asked me if I wanted to participate in a focus group for the new book we were developing (I work for a large media company, in case I haven't already mentioned that). The focus group participants would work and consult with a renowned New York City celebrity dermatologist-psychologist to help improve our skin, reduce our stress and help us achieve a more youthful looking appearance by doing a few simple things.    

In addition to other criteria for focus group participants, one of the participants they were seeking was a 30-something, busy woman (preferably a working mom who didn't have time to take care of herself) and if they could find one,  a token Asian (gee - sounds familiar!).   And I seemed to fit the bill for several of the criteria.

For free.   

To help out with a work project.  

With added bonus of potentially improving my then 35-year old sun-damaged, already-starting-to-age skin.   

PLUS, access to a renowned NYC dermatologist.   

Hmmmm... 

Well, as you can imagine, it didn't take too long for me to make a decision to be one of the sacrificial lambs for the writing of this book.  The purpose of the focus group was to go through Dr. Amy's treatment and eventually be featured in the book about reversing the physical aging that is caused by stress, lack of sleep, lack of hydration, you-name-it (basically, all of the bad habits that contribute to our physical appearance and skin - which is almost everything).

A few lifestyle changes (like more sleep, more date nights), lots of Shiseido 55 SPF sunscreen, Keihl's cleansing products, safflower oil and Neutrogena moisturizer and 2 tubes of Tretinoin retina cream later, my skin is smoother and a little more youthful because of Dr. Amy's treatment.

So now, voila!

Next week, the book launches.  And on pages 21-23, I am featured as what not-to-do (at least 12 months ago). Funny enough, it is quite a  pathetic read since it sounds like I do nothing but work, hang out with the family in spurts in the evenings and on weekends, and stay up late on the computer -- which, sadly, is not entirely untrue.  But I take solace in the fact that such is the life of a full-time working mom.

Thankfully, no photos of me.  Those were left on the Simon & Schuster editor's cutting room floor.

Here's to another 6 years of wedded bliss and new adventures

Sunday, the 21st was our 6 year wedding anniversary.

Six years ago on the 21st of September, we walked down the aisle at the Church in the Forest in Pebble Beach, California. And afterwards, we had a wonderful reception at the Quail Lodge in nearby Carmel-by-the-Sea with over 160 of our closest friends and family members. It was a blissful, unforgettable day. And it was exactly the wedding I had dreamed of having as a little girl, complete with the perfect wedding dress, a handsome groom, a classy, idyllic destination setting and all.

At the time, Dave was a job-searching, laid-off software sales guy and I was working in a stressful, sweatshop job in a big-and-corporate-consumer-software company in the Valley product managing small business software. We were renting our dinky little 2-bedroom, $1900 a-month (no joke!) apartment in the San Francisco Bay Area and contemplating leaving the rat race of Silicon Valley for greener and beachier pastures down in San Diego, where Dave grew up.

Six years ago, we felt like we were running on a treadmill with no set mileage goal and we were scared of what would happen if we tried to get off and stop.  And we were wondering, dreaming of the day that we could actually, finally afford our own home and start raising a family.  At the time, it seemed like a far-and-away prospect since the home prices in the Bay Area were (at least where we were in the Peninsula, just north of the Valley where we were thinking of buying) at the cheapest were about $700-$800K a pop.  Yes.  For a 1960's or 1970's-era "starter" home with probably no more than 1500 square feet of house.  And this was back in 2002 when we were a newly married couple, practically broke by today's standards.

So, we decided to up and move down south to San Diego in 2003 to create a new life that we felt we could not have had we stayed up north. And now, 6 years later, we are blessed with 2 amazing, healthy children, a warm, supportive family on both sides, a wonderful home in a caring, eco-friendly community, a comfortable lifestyle that allows us to travel and see the world, forward-moving careers and a blissful lifestyle in one of the best cities in the world. (Really, I'm not bragging; I'm just reminiscing and counting our many blessings :)

And my, how far we have come since then. And in a strange way, this -- our current existence -- is always how I planned it in my head.  I just didn't know how we would get here.

Sunday night, we went out on date night in La Jolla to celebrate year #6 and enjoyed a swanky sushi meal at Zenbu where the fancy rolls were little art creations unto themselves. And by the time we left, we were heavier on the tummies and lighter on the wallets. It felt so indulgent, especially with all of the economic hardship out in the country right now but it was our time to celebrate, so we did.

Here's the one of the off-the-menu sushi creations we enjoyed from the chef last night...called Sid Fishous - haha. (Notice the "anarchy" symbol made out of hotsauce...Dave was thoroughly amused being a skater punk kid of the 80's and all) Sid Fishous cost $20 so you can bet we enjoyed every bit of that roll, right down to the last grain of rice which probably cost at least $.05 cents. Despite my fetish for things designer/pricey (like jeans, sunglasses and purses), I am cheap with other things, like food and treating ourselves to a nice dinner, so not surprisingly I think that way.

Nonetheless, six years is a feat. It hasn't always been easy, and there are times when I'm sure we both at some point were contemplating our choice, but we've both managed to grow and learn and continue to make each other better through it all. We are committed to one another and we're in love, 6 years later.

And Sunday night, we drank Sapporos and Mai Tais, enjoyed fancy sushi and celebrated the life we've created together and the adventures that are yet to come.

The Skills You Can Learn @ 3 years old!

This past weekend, my husband hooked up the kids' new computer in the playroom...complete with parental controls and favorite bookmarks of our carefully chosen online learning games, of course.

With my husband and I both working the in the tech industry and tapping on our computers in the evenings sometimes when we need to finish work at home, it's no surprise that they have been showing interest in computers for a while now.  And we decided it was time.

So as I watched them play their "fine motor skills" and "literacy-building and storytelling" games on the Sprout/PBS kids website, I sat there behind them proudly and was constantly bemused by the fact that our 3 year olds were clicking around on icons and learning how to work the mouse.   They can't read yet, but they knew exactly where to click once we gave them the short tutorial.   I knew this would come soon enough, but wow, at 3?!!

Part of the reason I think I was so amused was this: I don't think I knew how to work a computer and type until I was in high school (and in the late 80's/early 90's I  think they were still called "word processors"...how funny!)

And now, here is this new generation of our children for whom computers, the internet, etc. is a part of their everyday existence...

Unfortunately, this morning before preschool they woke me up to see if they could play on the computer again.

Uh-oh.

Thank goodness they haven't yet discovered games that you actually play for regular fun instead of learning fun.  Or worse yet, the Wii.

No country for (inconsistent, tired, clueless and corrupt) old men

Ok, so I'm back to my politics talk again. I just can't stay away from this topic.

So, the last few days have been B-U-S-Y...not only on the family and work side, but also on the "figuring-out-my-campaign-volunteering-commitment-between-now-and-November-4th" side.

After 4 days of spinning my wheels and creative negotiation with my husband and our September-October schedule, here's where I ended up with my Obama campaign involvement:

• Camp Obama & being a Deputy Field Organizer = just too much time commitment for little old me (Camp O meant at least 3 full weekends of volunteering - one weekend of boot camp training, 2 weekends in Nevada -- albeit Vegas - bling, bling, which would have been fun...we will likely still go though)
  
  
• After 4 phone conversations and 3 e-mails to the Obama4America peeps in the L.A. regional office, we've determined the best way for me to be involved is to sign-up with my local San Diego peeps.
  
  
• So now, I am on Team B in the 50th Congressional district (San Diego) and I have taken on a small leadership role called "Data Manager" - this is nice title for data input monkey for people who can't use the online tools for our canvassing calls to Nevada. (Ironically, as a tech person and computer savvy professional, this job is probably my worst nightmare since it involves picking up the slack of computer illiterate people and inputting their results into the voting software. BUT, I am over this and will do whatever it takes to help my team. Yes I am a pig, not a chicken, as the analogy goes.)

Last night I attended the 50th Congressional District Obama rally party in Encinitas. And how refreshing it was to be surrounded by 200 like-minded individuals who want so badly for our candidate to win that they are volunteering time to do so. The energy and excitement was palpable. And our stated goal for California campaign efforts is clear -- Help win Nevada's 5 electoral votes. This election may come to 5 votes at this rate.

This weekend, I begin my phone canvassing of Nevada undecided voters. And one of the weekends in October, our family will likely make the trip out to Las Vegas to do physical canvassing and voter registration - sans any Camp Obama training...I think we can handle it.
(Funny enough, with all of this Obama talk in our household, I have my almost 4-year-old twins saying "Obama for America" to their preschool teachers -- so much so that the teachers mentioned it to me the other day. Whoops! At least they will be ready for our Nevada canvassing. :)

I know, I know...all this time, all this commitment. And you know what? We may not win in November, but at least I will know that I am not just on the sidelines watching how this unfolds. 47 days commitment to this campaign is relatively short in the scheme of another 4 (or possibly 8) years of another potentially bad leader. I want to make my difference in this, however small.

To close, there was a great editorial I read earlier this week from Thomas Friedman, author of non-fiction bestseller The World Is Flat. The editorial was in the New York Times, entitled "Making America Stupid." It totally resonated with me and is the new article I point folks to when they ask me why I support Obama.

No country for (inconsistent, tired, clueless and corrupt) old men, especially McCain.

_________________

Update on my Data Manager role as of this evening's Obama campaign 9PM PST conference call :

Apparently, there's more to my responsibilities than data input guru. I will also be training other volunteers on the voter database software tool and will be the list generator for canvassing calls and for volunteer management on specific events like out of state travel, etc. OK, I feel better now. I think. This, on top of everything else. Oy. (I have to remind myself...it's only 47 more days in the grand scheme of 4 years of the same old, same old...)